Hello everyone!
Have been wanting to write for a very long time now. But everytime I plan to do it, there is absolutely nothing that I can think of! Just thought of penning down some experiences of my travel to the West!
Just as thousands of other families who have flocked their way to the US (thanks to the software boom), I was yet another tiny addition to the group. I had always wondered from my childhood what the world outside India looked like. People always flaunted their "foreign" trips and made comparisons with India. They always said how great it was there. "It's so clean, so organized, people are so disciplined there", "When will India become like them" and so on and so forth. All these statements just added to the raging fuel inside me to take a peak at this "Wonderful Better World" outside India.
Adding to all this was the fact that as years went by a lot of my family members, my cousins and friends got an opportunity to the visit this dream land. My father also wanted to flaunt to his colleagues that his daughter was also in US or UK, as this meant a lot to him. It raised eyebrows, brought in a lot of respect amongst his colleagues and would have given him an edge. But sadly none of us had an opportunity so far.
I finished school, then went on to complete my graduation and Post graduation. Years passed by and one fine day got married to my long time boyfriend. I was now out of the "Dreamy West" opinion, and loved my home town and my home country. Guess I just grew up! But as fate had it, now I had THE opportunity to visit the west. My husband was a Software Engineer and had his project in US, I joined him there.
Initially a couple of days before I left India, it felt strange to me that all these years I was waiting for this one chance and when the day finally came, I had no excitement, except for the fact that I was joining my husband there to start off a new phase in my life. Might sound strange, but right from the second day I felt unusually wierd and lonely, as though I have been cut off from humanity. Well not to sound rude, but unlike India, every single individual of a household seemed to be extremely busy with their personal and professional lives here. Either its too boring or too much noise and celebration (which frankly speaking, i dont understand the need for, especially most of the weekends).
There was not much of a social life where I lived. I hardly saw people let alone interact and build new friendship. As is the case with most of the IT professionals today, my husband was no exception. Long working hours, too much stress and pressure on the job front kept him busy all day, and all week long. It became harder for me with each passing day to keep myself busy. To make my situation a little more clearer, imagine living on an alien planet, with extreme cold climate and just a couple of vehicles crossing across. This was my situation ,atleast for 10 months in a year. Travel was expensive and hence visiting my friends in other cities was also out of question. I started hating the place all the more.
This way time passed, rather very slowly. But in this wierd lifestyle I was leading, I did go out for basic grcery and vegetable shopping every other day and saw some very interesting aspects in people's attitude (atleast where i lived, Michigan). To start off with, no matter who you were or where you were from, every stranger I met smiled at me, triggering back a similar response. I found it strange to smile at a stranger, fearing it would give him/her wrong intensions (a behaviour Indian women can relate to). This method of greeting felt really good and pleasing. No matter what your daily tensions are, I realized that a smile can go a long way in making one's day.
The second was, uttering the words "Thank you" and "Sorry" whenever and wherever it was necessary. Acknowledging people for the service they offer us, no matter how big or small, gives us and the receiver a pleasure of having pleased the person. These are some extremely important soft skills that people in the west have developed and practiced over the years. I guess there is nothing wrong in learning the positives from other countries and cultures. Well I have adopted this, and I must say I am loving it!
Then there is this feeling of absolute freedom and non interference in both our personal and professional lives. I am not sure if this is a boon or bane for the "desi" lot. W.r.t professional life its great. Such a relief and such a pleasure. Freedom from red tapism and all that!! Wow!
But having lived in India all my life within a controlled and restricted environment, occasional abrupt interferences from relatives and neighbors, a great social life, filled with fun, THIS has become a way of life. This is us. We need people and the hustle bustle around us. As Sudha Murthy rightly put it "We are like that only"! With this unfound freedom and independence in the West, comes a little bit of loneliness. People are so busy with their lives here they hardly seem to have time for each other. Its all about materialistic pleasure. This is where the desis would find a hitch. Some have had trouble adjusting while some have adapted and moved on.
Have been wanting to write for a very long time now. But everytime I plan to do it, there is absolutely nothing that I can think of! Just thought of penning down some experiences of my travel to the West!
Just as thousands of other families who have flocked their way to the US (thanks to the software boom), I was yet another tiny addition to the group. I had always wondered from my childhood what the world outside India looked like. People always flaunted their "foreign" trips and made comparisons with India. They always said how great it was there. "It's so clean, so organized, people are so disciplined there", "When will India become like them" and so on and so forth. All these statements just added to the raging fuel inside me to take a peak at this "Wonderful Better World" outside India.
Adding to all this was the fact that as years went by a lot of my family members, my cousins and friends got an opportunity to the visit this dream land. My father also wanted to flaunt to his colleagues that his daughter was also in US or UK, as this meant a lot to him. It raised eyebrows, brought in a lot of respect amongst his colleagues and would have given him an edge. But sadly none of us had an opportunity so far.
I finished school, then went on to complete my graduation and Post graduation. Years passed by and one fine day got married to my long time boyfriend. I was now out of the "Dreamy West" opinion, and loved my home town and my home country. Guess I just grew up! But as fate had it, now I had THE opportunity to visit the west. My husband was a Software Engineer and had his project in US, I joined him there.
Initially a couple of days before I left India, it felt strange to me that all these years I was waiting for this one chance and when the day finally came, I had no excitement, except for the fact that I was joining my husband there to start off a new phase in my life. Might sound strange, but right from the second day I felt unusually wierd and lonely, as though I have been cut off from humanity. Well not to sound rude, but unlike India, every single individual of a household seemed to be extremely busy with their personal and professional lives here. Either its too boring or too much noise and celebration (which frankly speaking, i dont understand the need for, especially most of the weekends).
There was not much of a social life where I lived. I hardly saw people let alone interact and build new friendship. As is the case with most of the IT professionals today, my husband was no exception. Long working hours, too much stress and pressure on the job front kept him busy all day, and all week long. It became harder for me with each passing day to keep myself busy. To make my situation a little more clearer, imagine living on an alien planet, with extreme cold climate and just a couple of vehicles crossing across. This was my situation ,atleast for 10 months in a year. Travel was expensive and hence visiting my friends in other cities was also out of question. I started hating the place all the more.
This way time passed, rather very slowly. But in this wierd lifestyle I was leading, I did go out for basic grcery and vegetable shopping every other day and saw some very interesting aspects in people's attitude (atleast where i lived, Michigan). To start off with, no matter who you were or where you were from, every stranger I met smiled at me, triggering back a similar response. I found it strange to smile at a stranger, fearing it would give him/her wrong intensions (a behaviour Indian women can relate to). This method of greeting felt really good and pleasing. No matter what your daily tensions are, I realized that a smile can go a long way in making one's day.
The second was, uttering the words "Thank you" and "Sorry" whenever and wherever it was necessary. Acknowledging people for the service they offer us, no matter how big or small, gives us and the receiver a pleasure of having pleased the person. These are some extremely important soft skills that people in the west have developed and practiced over the years. I guess there is nothing wrong in learning the positives from other countries and cultures. Well I have adopted this, and I must say I am loving it!
Then there is this feeling of absolute freedom and non interference in both our personal and professional lives. I am not sure if this is a boon or bane for the "desi" lot. W.r.t professional life its great. Such a relief and such a pleasure. Freedom from red tapism and all that!! Wow!
But having lived in India all my life within a controlled and restricted environment, occasional abrupt interferences from relatives and neighbors, a great social life, filled with fun, THIS has become a way of life. This is us. We need people and the hustle bustle around us. As Sudha Murthy rightly put it "We are like that only"! With this unfound freedom and independence in the West, comes a little bit of loneliness. People are so busy with their lives here they hardly seem to have time for each other. Its all about materialistic pleasure. This is where the desis would find a hitch. Some have had trouble adjusting while some have adapted and moved on.
